I recently had an interesting conversation, about marriage, with someone. They were asking me about finances, control issues, and disagreements.
I’m not sure how the conversation got started but it ran the gamut of many things.
They commented that they didn’t really like the idea of the man being the head of the house that it was a team effort, but I seemed to be okay with Jim, being in charge. I pointed out that Jim and I are pretty much on the same page, and when we’re not we discuss it calmly and come to a decision that works for us.
They asked if we yell at each other. I said, “Not since Jesus has become the center of our lives.” We aren’t really yellers anyway. We tend more to get quiet when we’re angry because we’ve learned that once you say something hurtful, no matter how much you apologize, the words are out and emotional damage is done. It’s much better to cool down and discuss disagreements calmly then to spout off the first angry thing that comes to your mind.
Then they asked about money and who runs the money and do we argue about money. I told them Jim works very hard to make sure we have a comfortable retirement, that he has always been very responsible, honest, and trustworthy, so I have no need to worry or doubt that our financial situation is under control. They asked about spending money and I told them we have a dollar amount that we don’t spend without asking the other person, but that we are both pretty responsible about money.
That’s when I said, “I think we’re just a typical married couple.” To which both the husband and the wife very quickly responded, “No you’re not!” Interesting.
Jim and I have a relatively drama free, peaceful marriage. Did it take some work? Of course it did. If you desire to have a marriage that is (apparently) non-typical, there are a few things you can work to improve…
Communication is KEY
Be nice to each other
Be honest and trustworthy
Grow in your relationship with Jesus
You make want to consider this book, too… Making Happy by Les & Leslie Parrott.
If you want a non-typical marriage, you can have one!
*Pam & Jim Horton are certified SYMBIS Marriage Mentors.*