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About the strong-willed child

I was having a conversation with a friend about a situation I found myself in. This friend gave me his thoughts and advice and then proceeded to say, “But I know you. You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.” I had to chuckle because I thought I had grown past that.

My husband then chimed in,

“We know where our boys get it from.” To which I promptly deflected the blame onto my mother explaining that my mother had given me the “mother’s curse” by saying, “I hope you have kids just like you!”  It worked. Let’s hear it for the strong-willed child! 

I’m not speaking from statistics this morning, but from personal experience. Ok, really, raising a strong-willed child is NOT easy. In fact it can be down-right frustrating! The strong-willed child is, gonna do what they’re gonna do. Sometimes that will be the exact opposite of what you have suggested, simply because you suggested it. The strong-willed child typically has to learn things the hard way, because they already know (or THINK they know) what is best for them and that is what they will do, even if their parents know that is not what’s best for them.

In defense of the strong-willed child,

I think most times we turn out okay. If we survive our many mistakes and the school of hard knocks, we grow up to be stronger for having “done it on our own.”  Yes, we had help, yes we heard what our parents were saying, and yes, we probably had that “AHA” moment when we realized our parents were right and things would have been much easier if we had listened to wise counsel. I must say though, I would not change a thing. I am the person I am because of the things I’ve experienced and I like who I am, so it’s all good.

Now, about my friend’s make comment…I truly thought I had grown into a much more open-minded, willing to take suggestions type of person. I really think I have. Maybe a strong will is just part of who I am and is seen by others, even if it has been tamed (grin).


*If you’re interested,

a few years back, I wrote an article for Youth Worker Magazine about the strong-willed child. You can check it out here…

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