Get rid of guilt and shame

How can a person get rid of guilt and shame? 

In a word… forgiveness.

You cannot change the past. 

What’s done is done.  You can only manage to live with it and move positively forward. 

To forgive others you must let it go. 

You do not have to forget what happened.  You do not have to believe, or let them think, that what happened was okay. You do not even need to receive an apology from them.  They may not think what happened was a problem, so why would they apologize?  You do have to acknowledge the hurt you felt/feel and then forgive them.  You release that person from holding you hostage to the pain of the past.  Forgiving someone is not something you do for them, it is something you do for you.  Once you forgive them, you are then able to let go of the hurt, bitterness, anger, guilt, (and maybe shame) that has been associated with that event and/or that person.  When you forgive others from a past hurt you are freed to move positively forward

Now comes the hardest part… forgiving yourself. 

If you are dealing with guilt and shame by something you have (or haven’t) done, this can be difficult.  The fact still remains, you cannot change the past.  What’s done is done.  You can only manage to live with it and move positively forward.  Perhaps you need to apologize to someone, and ask their forgiveness.  Perhaps you need to share what happened with a trusted friend, relative, pastor, or other professional.  Somehow, you need to find a way to release yourself from whatever happened.  Once you can manage that, you come to understand that you can let it go, forgive yourself, and feel that burden literally lift off of your shoulders.  It truly is an amazing feeling.

The person who cannot forgive is destined to live with bitterness, anger, guilt, and maybe shame.

The book, The Decision to Change, addresses forgiveness in one of the chapters, but most of the stories have some element of forgiveness in them.  We must forgive in order to move from the past into the future.  There are many other books written on the topic of forgiveness.  If this is something you struggle with, you might consider picking one up (or hiring a life coach, grin).

Let’s start a new hashtag…. #Forgiveness!   Or how about #MovingPositivelyForward?